Birthdays and Underwear Gifts

I have something to say. That’s right. I do. I want to talk about the dreaded gifts that people give to others for birthdays, Christmas, or whatever special gift giving event is relevant.

Underwear is not a gift. It’s a necessity. Just like water to drink. You wouldn’t give someone water for their birthday. “Hello my dearest…I got you a 20oz of water for your birthday”. Hell no! You get dumped for that kind of scandal. Seriously! What were you thinking? The same goes for socks.

Eventually you’ll ask yourself, why underwear and socks? What makes them such a mock gift as compared to a new watch or a t-shirt. I’ll tell you. They are a necessity. They are things we wear that no one sees. No one cares about them. All that matters is you have them on you. In fact, you don’t even need them, they are just nice. Disagree? There wouldn’t be phrases like “going commando” if you could disagree. Sandals and sockless shoe paraphernalia is sufficient reasoning.

Now there are times that it counts. Like the underwear you expose part of in the back (if you are sexy enough to warrant showing off part of your ass to begin with, which is an entirely different discussion in and of itself). This underwear may have bright colors, or is embroidered, or has a design that implicates a certain pre-disposed attitude that might result in events that are less likely without aforementioned underwear. Or socks that are meant to be shown, perhaps with bright colors warped out of the 1980s and somehow re-instituted as in-style (for the criminally insane of course).

Is it ok to give them? Yes, but not as the only gift. It shouldn’t even count as part of the gift budget per say. After all, the gift recipient is going to need to receive these “necessary” items with or without the gift giving event that is being observed (such as a birthday).

So why do I have a bone to pick on concerning this subject. Well when you get right down to it, knowing you are going to be getting “necessary” items for an upcoming gift giving event is just downright irritating and pisses me off. I’d rather just skip the blooming event all together than involve myself in such a hoax of an idea. Necessary items are given regardless of a gift giving event. Give them if you must, but not as part of any gift-giving budget.

What else counts as necessary items? Gasoline for your vehicle for commuting to work. What about sun glasses when you have to drive into the sun (to and from work). Water and sufficient food to live on. A seat belt in your car.

Let me ask you this. If your seat belt was broken. Would you get it fixed now, or wait for a birthday so someone could gift you an unbroken seat belt?

Ya, well…you’ve got my drift. Underwear is a truly sucky gift for any event, especially a birthday. And along with that goes all the other necessary gifts that must be given (or self-purchased) regardless.