Thursday, November 10, 2011

What really grinds my gears


I am partially ashamed to admit how much I love the Family Guy TV show. That is another blog though. A few days ago I was watching an episode and Peter had a tiny bit on the evening news called 'What really grinds my gears'. I think it is a fitting title for this blog.

I'm not sure when it happened, but my life turned into a roller coaster. A few months ago I was bored. But today I am desperately trying to stay afloat. I find myself for the first time managing a contract worth more than my house. I am desperately trying to fulfill tasks at work and at home. I have more so many projects started that I am having trouble completing any single task. And when I drop all of them to focus on one, something always happens that forces me to redirect my attention. And the worst thing is that I am dead tired in the evening, even on days I don't work out!

All this bustling around though, can't help shake the bitter taste I've got in my mouth. The silly season is coming. I remember loving this time of year as a kid. Christmas and Thanksgiving were great. I remember family coming together and visiting. I had plenty of time off from school. I got gifts. There was great food. I had no worries. Now fast forward 20 years. Now no one visits. The gifts I get are overshadowed with dollar signs floating through my head as I try to plan out a budget to deal with the expenditures of the holidays. And most of the time the only gifts that I appreciate are functional ones anymore (like a sweater). As a kid, I hated gifts like that. But as an adult, I am so happy to get clothing. Isn't that ironic. I dread the holidays because work doesn't stop for anyone or anything (or any holiday). Deadlines don't stop or pause. So there is a crescendo of stress and workload. As the weather turns sour and families are forced indoors more, personalities clash and fights ensue. My kids and wife are at each other's throats. And when all is said and done, I am going to probably gain weight from all the food. And truth be told, Thanksgiving meal is amazing but it was eating with extended family that was truly great about holiday meals.

So what really grinds my gears is my extended family. I do not refer to my kids or wife. Without my wife, I would truly be a lost cause and love her with all my heart. But my extended family is like a Greek tragedy. I grew up with parents who had ritualistic plate-throwing fights during mega-holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. So much so that it doesn't quite feel like the holidays without a rip roaring fight somewhere. On top of that, my only sibling is estranged. My sibling cut all ties when I teased said-sibling on a social networking site. Actually, this person (who I shall call Sam from now on) cut all ties after I de-friended a person they were semi-sorta dating (which happened because they decided to daddy me after I razzed Sam). Seriously, what is wrong with people. I'm 30+ years old. I don't need a 40 year old treating me like I'm 8.

What really grinds my gears is that my own estranged sibling, "Sam" really would be proud of me. I have lost so much weight and I did it without surgery or a special fad diet. I did it without an insane program. I lost the weight the way all the doctors say you should, over a long period of time with changes to lifestyle that you can maintain forever. I exercise two to three times a week and look for opportunities to be active in the evening. I think Sam would be very proud. But instead, Sam is living on in repeat mode. Sam's had three failed marriages. Sam's new friend was (and maybe is now) a fourth marriage. And for all I know, that marriage may have already ended. Forgive me, but I'm tired of welcoming in people into my extended family only to have them ousted because they don't agree with everyone Sam does.

I have a wife. I have three kids. I've been married for 11 years and going on 12. I don't ever plan on getting remarried. I suspect most people don't that are divorced, but the truth is when I welcome someone in my family circle they stay there. I still have a spot for all of Sam's old spouses. I still wish I could see them on the holidays. They are still family to me. So forgive me if I'm tired of welcoming new people that I know Sam will just throw out like last week's chinese food.

Friday, September 23, 2011

My Dream Motorcycle

This is a silly blog, and completely useless in all but purpose. But I thought that maybe putting things down on paper (or pixels) may enlighten me.

I own a Suzuki C-109R/T motorcycle. It is an 1800 CC monster cruiser bike, but it has it's fair share of quirks that keep me thinking about alternate motorcycles. So let me write down what I like about the C-109R/T.



C-109R/T
(+) A very powerful engine
(+) Liquid-Cooled Engine
(+) Fat rear tire (I like how it looks)
(+) Drive Shaft low maintenance
(+) Rear Passenger
(-) Drive Shaft loss of power
(-) No Cruise Control
(-) Limited Customization (due to lack of Suzuki Production)
(-) Cruiser Fender covers up the tire
(-) Sounds like a weeny-bike
(-) Low Suzuki Support
(-) windshield is very difficult to remove
(-) bags are falling apart
( ) 40 mpg (could be better, but definitely could be worse)

My ideal bike would
A) sound like a harley
B) be liquid-cooled
C) have hard-bags that are easily removed and lockable
D) Have a bat-wing fairing or easily detached windshield
E) 45-50 mpg or 6 gal tank
F) cruise-control

I think what I realized is that riding a motorcycle is more than just freedom. Freedom on a motorcycle is similar to putting the top down on a convertible or putting on shorts after working all day in professional dress attire. But it is also an internal makeover as you step into the shoes of someone else. For a while, you are no longer that geek who does math tricks in his head or the used car salesman with bad hair on a windy day. The moment you swing your leg over a cycle, you become someone else and you live differently. You see the world differently too. And how you feel, or should I say who you feel like, depends on what you ride and how you ride. Are you in matching leathers with a reflective visored helm, hunched over a bullet bike screaming down the road? Or are you in black leather, relaxed, and cruising down the street with your engine thumping. When you step off the bike, it's like going through a virtual reality machine. Everything shifts. Your vision warps as normal reality sets in.

Right now, my vision isn't lining up. I have mixed and matched different realities. I don't know what I feel like when I sit on my bike, but it isn't calibrated correctly for the experience I was looking for. It's close, but not quite. And I can't help but feel proud and embarrassed at the same time when I whip down the street in my jap cruiser. It feels out of place.

There is a lot of argument in the motorcycle world when it comes to jap bikes vs American (and let's not forget European bikes). Each category has it's "faithful" zealot followers. They love to point out the flaws in each other. Some flaws no longer exist. A lot of American motor vehicle manufacturers made really bad products in the 80s and early 90s. Harley-Davidson was no exception. Many anti-Harley folk like to laugh at how Harley-Davidson's break down frequently, but it doesn't take long to see how much of this has to do with poorly made bikes from those days.

Bikes made today are good all around. The real difference is that different motorcycle manufacturers have different philosophies. Also, some bikes are supported while others are not. Take Suzuki for example. They continue to heavily support their sportbikes, but their cruisers are dwindling. The customization available reflects that, as fewer products are being made or designed. There are hardly any selections when it comes to after-market pipes. However, look at Harley-Davidson and you'll see the opposite when it comes to their cruisers. In addition, Harley-Davidson does make you pay more for the same product (but knowing what I know now, I think you get more in the end).

I think if I ever buy another bike, I'm going to stick to what each manufacturer is best at. When I look at Suzuki, I'll be looking at their sport bikes. When I look for cruisers, I'll be down looking at the Harley-Davidson bikes.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Golden Rule

This morning I had an epiphany that connected random memories. This happens rarely, but when it does I am left reflecting on my presumed genius or idiocy, and I am never sure which is more descriptive of myself.

I was casually asked about the Golden Rule this last Sunday while sitting in Elder's Quorum at my local Church. I tilted my head and knew the answer, but in my ever-so-introverted way I waited to see how people would respond. The "correct" answer was given many times. If you don't know the correct answer, understand first that the validity is related to the circumstance, namely being in Church. Jesus asked us to do unto others as we would have them do to us. The origin of the idea, hopefully rooted in the good book, eludes me. I digress; my inability to properly reference the Bible is too common of an occurrence and makes me feel spiritually inadequate.

One Elder though, comically answered the question about the Golden Rule and said, "Whoever has the gold, makes the rules." We all laughed and smiled. Humor is rare in Church and I welcome it when it makes an appearance. It is my opinion, that most prominent Church members are far too concerned with the outward showing of humility and display of reserved sober conservatism rather than spiritual enlightenment. The Gospel of Jesus is as much about finding God as it is about serving him thru loving our neighbors. If we fail to connect with other living people, to truly connect, than not only will we likely fail to serve others, but we won't ever really understand what it means to live at all.

I didn't come up with my thought until I was perusing Facebook today and noticed for the millionth time someone's toxic post with a link supporting their argumentative viewpoint. When I say toxic, I mean a statement intended to create controversy and social impairment. The link was the catalyst. Often they are so-called scientific articles that support their belief on correlated statistical data. Take note I used the term "belief" rather than theory. A theory is something that has been tested and can be retested. Statistical data correlations are not proof of anything. Correlations indicate there may be a relationship but how they are related is not proven (if at all).

What does this all have to do with the Golden Rule? Well, in the past I have tried to point out to people who so lovingly adore toxic posts on Facebook with ridiculous scientific links who base their entire argument on statistical correlations, there are always two sides to the story. In an our world, the two sides to each story have to do with money. There is money to be made on any controversy or on any issue. Find a so-called scientific study about why vaccinations are bad and after digging into details you'll find the study was funded by groups that had preformed that opinion prior to the study, and more importantly financially benefit from people getting sick. Find a study supporting vaccinations, and they were likely funded by drug companies who made the vaccinations. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to find out the drug companies are funding both studies just to cause controversy and get people buying vaccinations and/or other flu-symptom remedy drugs.

It's the same with any controversy. Find an article on why butter is better than margarine, you can guess who funded it. But you dig more and you'll find articles "proving" the opposite. It doesn't matter if it's breast milk vs formula, computer games vs console games, soccoer vs football, beer vs wine, drinking underage vs. wine at dinner, condoms vs. abstinence, gay vs. straight...it doesn't matter. And when you stand back in awe of the human condition, you realize that the joker in my Elder's Quorum nailed it right with his quip. Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

All the statistical proof (I laugh) is just a symptom of the Human Condition. It's what keeps us here on Earth. It is a byproduct of Sin. Is it coincidence that the Golden Rule has two meanings, earthly ambition and spiritual enlightenment.

When we base our decisions in this world on the byproduct of Sin, are we giving into sin? I don't know. Are we giving into our base desires and becoming the natural man when we support financial hypocrisy? Is Science our Tower of Babylon?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Social Networking Pet Peeves

So I'm on a rant today. Not a roaring fire-breathing thrashing and breaking things kind of rant, but more of a steaming raised eyebrow rant where I have the obvious visible exterior that screams "I am going to slap you if you keep being stupid."

So let's talk about stupid social networking pet peeves that I've developed. You may be thinking, "who cares about pet peeves of someone else" but given time you'll think like I do. And that is why I bring this up. It's contagious. I was in your shoes not so long ago. No more digression, let's start looking at my social networking pet peeves (SNPP).

SNPP #1: Baiting
People will post in their status or their twitter something that is actually noteworthy. It's enough to make you go "Wo! Wait a minute, something serious happened to my e-friend. What's going on?" Then you read their whole long diatribe to find out they didn't give you the key information you need to truly ascertain the severity of the situation. Your fingers twitch as you click in the reply box, intent on asking about the conveniently missing information. You start typing, and then stop. They just baited you. And you almost took it. They are fishing for e-friend comments. They are wasting your time. You have to wonder if the event even happened, or if it did how exaggerated was it made by the status post in the hopes to get a bunch of sympathy responses. I say screw that! When someone baits me now, I say "screw you" in my head and keep going. If they really wanted me to know, they wouldn't bait me.

Examples of baiting:
"I have to go to the hospital" but never saying why.
"I have to put my dog down" but not saying why.
"I was pulled over" but not saying why.
"I almost hit a customer" but not saying why.
"Some bad crap happened today while [insert_whatever] and I am very [insert_sympathy_incurring_emotional_state]" but never saying what happened

SNPP #2: The "woe is me" vs "i sniff myself" personas
Social networking is a lot like looking at the world with 3D glasses. On the one side you have the rose-tinted glass with certain people. Their life is super cheerful and happy and lucky. They have whatever they want, do whatever they want, and they are always cheerful. Their pictures show them with a shit-eating grin and it's enough to make you vomit after the first couple months. Then there is the opposite. The "woe is me" crowd is enough to make you almost de-friend them. It's like they are a spokesman for country music. They lost their dog, their house, their lover, and now god is pissing on them. The only good thing to come out of all that, is when one group recognizes the other, and go at it bashing their respective personal beliefs of the world on each other's head.

SNPP #3: The Robot
This person never posts. They setup some app to post quotes. You get 5 invites a day from them to play some e-game from them, but it's all an automated script generated response driven by the need to mass spread the social networking e-life excuse.

SNPP #4: The Vicarious Shadow
This person never posts anything about them. It's all their kids, their spouse, their co-workers, their neighbors, etc. Their avatar is surely a picture of them with other people. All they can talk about is other people. They never really share themselves with you. You may as well not have friended this person at all, but rather just friended the people they are talking about, because you really don't get a glimmer of their life.

I am sick and tired of baiting and eternally happy/sappy people. Robo-friend and Vicarious Shadows are easily fixed with the "ignore" feature. You don't realize how pissed off you are with baiting, until you find yourself trying to e-strangle the imaginary necks of people who post. If you don't feel comfortable sharing the details to important events in your life, then don't share at all.