What really grinds my gears

I am partially ashamed to admit how much I love the Family Guy TV show. That is another blog though. A few days ago I was watching an episode and Peter had a tiny bit on the evening news called 'What really grinds my gears'. I think it is a fitting title for this blog.

I'm not sure when it happened, but my life turned into a roller coaster. A few months ago I was bored. But today I am desperately trying to stay afloat. I find myself for the first time managing a contract worth more than my house. I am desperately trying to fulfill tasks at work and at home. I have more so many projects started that I am having trouble completing any single task. And when I drop all of them to focus on one, something always happens that forces me to redirect my attention. And the worst thing is that I am dead tired in the evening, even on days I don't work out!

All this bustling around though, can't help shake the bitter taste I've got in my mouth. The silly season is coming. I remember loving this time of year as a kid. Christmas and Thanksgiving were great. I remember family coming together and visiting. I had plenty of time off from school. I got gifts. There was great food. I had no worries. Now fast forward 20 years. Now no one visits. The gifts I get are overshadowed with dollar signs floating through my head as I try to plan out a budget to deal with the expenditures of the holidays. And most of the time the only gifts that I appreciate are functional ones anymore (like a sweater). As a kid, I hated gifts like that. But as an adult, I am so happy to get clothing. Isn't that ironic. I dread the holidays because work doesn't stop for anyone or anything (or any holiday). Deadlines don't stop or pause. So there is a crescendo of stress and workload. As the weather turns sour and families are forced indoors more, personalities clash and fights ensue. My kids and wife are at each other's throats. And when all is said and done, I am going to probably gain weight from all the food. And truth be told, Thanksgiving meal is amazing but it was eating with extended family that was truly great about holiday meals.

So what really grinds my gears is my extended family. I do not refer to my kids or wife. Without my wife, I would truly be a lost cause and love her with all my heart. But my extended family is like a Greek tragedy. I grew up with parents who had ritualistic plate-throwing fights during mega-holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. So much so that it doesn't quite feel like the holidays without a rip roaring fight somewhere. On top of that, my only sibling is estranged. My sibling cut all ties when I teased said-sibling on a social networking site. Actually, this person (who I shall call Sam from now on) cut all ties after I de-friended a person they were semi-sorta dating (which happened because they decided to daddy me after I razzed Sam). Seriously, what is wrong with people. I'm 30+ years old. I don't need a 40 year old treating me like I'm 8.

What really grinds my gears is that my own estranged sibling, "Sam" really would be proud of me. I have lost so much weight and I did it without surgery or a special fad diet. I did it without an insane program. I lost the weight the way all the doctors say you should, over a long period of time with changes to lifestyle that you can maintain forever. I exercise two to three times a week and look for opportunities to be active in the evening. I think Sam would be very proud. But instead, Sam is living on in repeat mode. Sam's had three failed marriages. Sam's new friend was (and maybe is now) a fourth marriage. And for all I know, that marriage may have already ended. Forgive me, but I'm tired of welcoming in people into my extended family only to have them ousted because they don't agree with everyone Sam does.

I have a wife. I have three kids. I've been married for 11 years and going on 12. I don't ever plan on getting remarried. I suspect most people don't that are divorced, but the truth is when I welcome someone in my family circle they stay there. I still have a spot for all of Sam's old spouses. I still wish I could see them on the holidays. They are still family to me. So forgive me if I'm tired of welcoming new people that I know Sam will just throw out like last week's chinese food.